That guy with the Afro who painted on TV? Yeah him. The one, that hippie guy on PBS, that embraced his "happy little accidents"...he knew what he was talking about.
I recently took up a hobby. Making quilts. I have some sewing experience but last time I tried quilting it was a complete failure.
This time I read blogs to learn some basic techniques. And I made a small practice quilt that is a hodgepodge of all the stuff I learned.
It was very satisfying to create something again.
I used to paint. I was artsy. Then I became a control-freak-perfectionist-nurse. That's not a fun job. Satisfying in many ways. But not fun.
While working on my quilt I was about to rip out some mistakes. Then, somehow, I channelled Bob Ross. He told me they were only mistakes If I wanted them to be. That I could choose to let them be "happy little accidents". That I should let it go. Be free and happy. Enjoy and trust the process.
I am so happy I listened. Letting go of that perfectionist attitude allowed me to have fun. Allowed me to experience some real joy. Allowed me to be more creative.
Thanks Bob. But now what do I do about this new obsession?! All I can think about is my next quilt!
I guess there is more to life than just nursing.
Dec 8, 2011
Dec 1, 2011
That did not take long...
Unfortunately, I was only one imperfect RN today with enough work for at least 3 perfect RN's to complete in 12 hours. (I will go read my last post so I can remember a good day.)
I know some poor night shift RN out on the medical floor (where I transferred a patient) is happily writing me up for holding that dose of methadone and doing a blood sugar late because the patient was sleeping. Which may have had something to do with the vitamin A he needed and I gladly gave.
I can only hope the night shift ICU nurse I gave report to, "Hoover", has as busy an assignment as mine was and won't have time to write me up for missing that 1600 H/H.
I did have my perfect moments. Like when I wrestled an Ativan order out of a pulmonologist for my patient I was sure has been in benzodiazepine withdrawal.
I realized last night in my sleep that his tox screen was positive for benzodiazepines on admit, and all we kept giving him was fentanyl for pain. Which maybe, sometimes, lasted an hour. Then he was fidgeting and pulling and moaning and grabbing and yelling "help me!" in his frail little pitiful voice over and over.
One dose of Ativan 0.5 mg IV and he was calm, slept well, wasn't oversedated. No narcs for most of the day. I did try the new order for dilaudid once and it didn't do much to him. Maybe slowed him down a little but he was still miserable.
Ativan. Vitamin A. Thank you big pharma for this. (I take back all the bad things I've said about you)
I also knew the answer to the pulmonologist's pop quiz question. (maybe that's why he agreed to write for the Ativan). He asked me, "Why would I not want to give the patient blood until his Hgb was less than 7? I answered, without hesitation, "Because studies have shown that patients die when we do". He was impressed.
I failed the follow up question: "Why does it kill them?". I couldn't remember. It is because of infection related to the immuno-suppressive effects of the transfusion. Or so he says. I bet it's more than that.
I happen to think we kill people every day with over treatment.
I did one more perfect thing. I made a patient get out of bed, take a shower (the completion of which was an incredible feat in itself), and let his wife go home. That doesn't sound like much. But it is everything.
He wasn't at risk of dying from his knee infection anymore. His biggest risk was now a secondary infection...from being filthy (refusing nursing care and expecting his wife do it all); or pneumonia from not getting out of bed; or from a DVT due to his immobility.
He was IRATE with me. He almost fired me. Right then his doc showed up and I asked him to reinforce what I told the patient. He did. And the patient did what I said. Even though at one point he told me he'd be doing better if I'd stop talking. Ha ha!
Whatever dude! You may not know it. But I saved your life today. And I'm transferring you to the Ortho floor where I know they'll make you get out of bed!
Then I had the 5 hour admit and it all went to $hit. Yes. 5 hours, a PA (useless), and 3 doctors later I finally had the chart. It was now change of shift.
I missed the blood draw in the other room. I let the first guy sleep through his methadone dose and blood sugar until I was transferring him to the floor at which time I did the blood sugar.
I will be written up for something. I was so tired by the end that I could hardly walk to the car. And I called from the car to tell the night nurse one more important thing.
Oh! And I told the doc that the PA had no business seeing our patients. She needs to stay over on the medical floor. That was pretty perfect too.
This is nursing.
PS. To that night shifter writing me up: I hope the computer freezes.
I know some poor night shift RN out on the medical floor (where I transferred a patient) is happily writing me up for holding that dose of methadone and doing a blood sugar late because the patient was sleeping. Which may have had something to do with the vitamin A he needed and I gladly gave.
I can only hope the night shift ICU nurse I gave report to, "Hoover", has as busy an assignment as mine was and won't have time to write me up for missing that 1600 H/H.
I did have my perfect moments. Like when I wrestled an Ativan order out of a pulmonologist for my patient I was sure has been in benzodiazepine withdrawal.
I realized last night in my sleep that his tox screen was positive for benzodiazepines on admit, and all we kept giving him was fentanyl for pain. Which maybe, sometimes, lasted an hour. Then he was fidgeting and pulling and moaning and grabbing and yelling "help me!" in his frail little pitiful voice over and over.
One dose of Ativan 0.5 mg IV and he was calm, slept well, wasn't oversedated. No narcs for most of the day. I did try the new order for dilaudid once and it didn't do much to him. Maybe slowed him down a little but he was still miserable.
Ativan. Vitamin A. Thank you big pharma for this. (I take back all the bad things I've said about you)
I also knew the answer to the pulmonologist's pop quiz question. (maybe that's why he agreed to write for the Ativan). He asked me, "Why would I not want to give the patient blood until his Hgb was less than 7? I answered, without hesitation, "Because studies have shown that patients die when we do". He was impressed.
I failed the follow up question: "Why does it kill them?". I couldn't remember. It is because of infection related to the immuno-suppressive effects of the transfusion. Or so he says. I bet it's more than that.
I happen to think we kill people every day with over treatment.
I did one more perfect thing. I made a patient get out of bed, take a shower (the completion of which was an incredible feat in itself), and let his wife go home. That doesn't sound like much. But it is everything.
He wasn't at risk of dying from his knee infection anymore. His biggest risk was now a secondary infection...from being filthy (refusing nursing care and expecting his wife do it all); or pneumonia from not getting out of bed; or from a DVT due to his immobility.
He was IRATE with me. He almost fired me. Right then his doc showed up and I asked him to reinforce what I told the patient. He did. And the patient did what I said. Even though at one point he told me he'd be doing better if I'd stop talking. Ha ha!
Whatever dude! You may not know it. But I saved your life today. And I'm transferring you to the Ortho floor where I know they'll make you get out of bed!
Then I had the 5 hour admit and it all went to $hit. Yes. 5 hours, a PA (useless), and 3 doctors later I finally had the chart. It was now change of shift.
I missed the blood draw in the other room. I let the first guy sleep through his methadone dose and blood sugar until I was transferring him to the floor at which time I did the blood sugar.
I will be written up for something. I was so tired by the end that I could hardly walk to the car. And I called from the car to tell the night nurse one more important thing.
Oh! And I told the doc that the PA had no business seeing our patients. She needs to stay over on the medical floor. That was pretty perfect too.
This is nursing.
PS. To that night shifter writing me up: I hope the computer freezes.
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