Today, this dumb nurse just decided not to go to work. The charge nurse had to scramble to get a night shifter to stay over a few hours until she could figure out staffing for the day. To make matters worse we were already short a monitor tech and had one from nights staying over. Several calls were made to the offending nurse. The house supervisor and the charge nurse called her home phone and her cell and left messages. They even considered calling the police to see if she was okay.
What really sux? That dumb nurse was me!
I really didn't think I worked today. It wasn't on my calendar. I must have transferred the info from the schedule into my calendar wrong. I work three 12 hour shifts a week. That's 36 hours people, so it's almost full time. (don't act like I work part time now)
But damn I look like an idiot. If only it was the first time I'd made a mistake like this, though it was the first time I'd just not shown up. I showed up for work on a day I wasn't scheduled but they don't give bonus points for that.
They could use this mistake to get rid of me. This could be a huge deal with meetings and performance improvement plans and the works. There is really very little I can do about it. If they don't like you they will find a way to get rid of you. Well, here's your opportunity...(waiting for my phone to ring...nope, what's it take to get fired around here?)
Thankfully my charge nurse is pretty forgiving, as was the night shifter who stayed over. The overtime pay must have softened the blow. I am lucky the boss is on vacation this week and hopefully no one will point out my mistake to her when she gets back.
This is one of the (2 billion) great things about nurses. We make it work. No matter what the problem, no matter what the obstacle, we get things done. We know how to prioritize, plan, execute and move on. We know God is laughing at our plans so when things change we alter the plan and move on.
There is no time for dwelling. We do that after the fact, long after, when we have coffee with friends or vent to our husbands or in a weak moment pull the manager off to the side and tell her about the obstacles that kept us from providing the best care.
This isn't to say it's not stressful. It's very stressful! There are a million things to do and never enough time or resources to do it with. It's a constant battle to get it all done. Sometimes I feel like a soldier dodging bullets, crawling through the muck, losing fellow fighters, dodging friendly fire, and making sacrifices to take the hill.
And no one notices. I have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from some of my shifts. That's funny but the truth usually is. Every once in a while someone notices and it feels real good. Don't expect that to show up on your eval though.
We are martyrs, most of us. Though we'll deny it. We all like to save the day. We want to be the one that worked hardest or charted best or knew the most. And we love to be thanked, though we'll say "that's my job". We're not good at accepting the thanks.
Next time someone says thank you for what you do I want you to respond with "thank you for noticing, I really appreciate it" okay?! And the next time one of your co-workers forgets to come to work...be forgiving, we can't be perfect every day.
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